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*HEY, YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO:* It’s the one day every four years that Floridians vote in primaries, and by tradition this means that voters are reporting “technical glitches” with voting machines. We hear that one of these complainers, that was actually not a human but a famous blimp, said that when it tried to vote for Ron Paul, the machine’s robotic Fascist-arms stuffed it in a black burlap sack and threw it to the bottom of Lake Okeechobee. [Orlando Sentinel]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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