A group of New York City communist writers came to Washington the other day, looking for a handout and complaining about capitalism, as usual. The “limousine liberals” from teevee’s Comedy Central want the government to crush free enterprise and “help workers.” We asked Daily Show writer and striking laborist Jason Ross to tell us exactly what happened on Capitol Hill.
Wonkette: Could you tell Wonkette how that thing you guys did Wednesday was like the “I have a dream” deal, and what it means for hungry subprime Americans? Also: Dumbest three people you met/saw at Congress.
Jason Ross: What’s there to say? We pitched a little woo, and Congress agreed to dance. We held her a bit too closely. We whispered catty comments in Congress’s ear about the Executive Branch — how her dress made her look like a microwave burrito — and Congress giggled into her little gloved hand.
We took two glasses down to the river and told Congress the old Indian legend about the moon’s reflection: How the heartbroken squaw tried to walk over the silvery waves to rejoin her fallen beau, how the call of the loon is the sound of her weeping, yadda-yadda-yadda. Washington wiped a tear off her cheek.
Long story short, there’s now a noticeable, dome-like bulge on the Capitol’s midriff. And I’m not saying we’re the father, but … we totally are.