Brokeback Bush Heartbroken Over Heath, Cancels Dope Ceremony

Pretend-cowboy George W. Bush was all set to give some kind of anti-sleeping-pills speech today, but he’s so upset about the sleeping-pill suicide of pretend-cowboy Heath Ledger that the whole thing’s been postponed! That’s what White House spokeslady Dana Perino told a sobbing press corps today. Brokeback Mountain is Bush’s favorite movie of all time. [Associated Press]