Wonkette
Barack Obama had… some kind of sex… with this man! With the drugs and the blackness and all of those things that happen. As he says, um, they — [curve that cue card up to the right, thanks] — got in a limo and did some heroi — [oh, coke it was, scratch the heroin line and let's go with coke] — did some cocaine and then had all sorts of gay blowjobs together [will I be more believable if I shave? Meh, let's run with this]. [Youtube]
DRUGS
We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Gurney, Illinois. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Chicago, which is what they called Gurney in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter’, you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah…the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war; the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones. So I gave Barack a blowjob, and then I became a hairdresser, and developed an addiction to meth and Twinkies, and was held at gunpoint to make this video if I ever wanted to see meth or Twinkies again. I love America, before the war.”
So when will we see Larry and Barry on “The Moment of Truth”?
God, I’ll stop praying for the pony if you’ll just let this be a little bit true. Barry on the downlow. Ooh, mercy. And all along I thought there was gonna be some skank crack ho baby momma crawling out of the light socket sometime in August.
The Pueblo county sheriff’s department didn’t seem to be too happy about someone on their most wanted list raising money on the internet and feeling free to speak at an event at the National Press Club. That little show of Larry’s just might turn into a perp walk. Stay tuned.
http://www.co.pueblo.co.us/cgi-bin/webpurbroker.wsc/mostoff.html?name=135062