While you people had a nice weekend, we went back to Nevada for Caucus Day. It was a very special time. We also “virtually” went to South Carolina, in our minds, to cover the GOP primary. Here’s what you missed:
* Huckabee got a special last-minute endorsement, and then he raped Jesus.
* Which was just part of the larger Confederate Conspiracy to keep John McCain’s mulatto baby from voting.
* Bill and his wife won Nevada! Poor Barry Obama lost, but maybe he sort of won, as far as delegates.
* We actually went to a Nevada Casino Caucus, at the Wynn in Las Vegas, and live-blogged the entire ridiculous circus. And then we realized there was no Internet Access, so it was just like the Soviet Union, or that movie when they crushed Joe Pesci’s nuts.
* Oh, and we took scary photographs of this Nevada Democratic Casino Caucus.
* Vertigo-inducing video, too!
* Duncan Hunter didn’t win S.C., Nevada, or anything else, ever. And yet he finally quit!
* “Mittmon” Romney won the pretend GOP caucus in Nevada, but guess who came in second place? GO RON PAUL!
* John McCain finally became president of Confederate South Carolina. Huckabee realized he could’ve taken the state, had he only remembered to kill Fred Thompson (with love). Hooray for the Bob Dole of 2008!