Wonkette

So it only took eight years for John McCain to win the South Carolina primary, hooray! Let’s see what the happy old coot has to say.10:03 PM — Lots of dumb love for South Carolina, which totally destroyed him in 2000.
10:04 PM — Truth, My Friends, Challenges, Truth, My Friends.
10:06 PM — Jesus, McCain’s mom is still alive and still looks better than her 89-year-old son. Of course, she wasn’t tortured.
10:07 PM — A funny thing is that McCain is actually pretty dishonest, and his “honesty” has changed state by state. For instance, in Michigan his honesty was pretty honest: No more jobs, Americans! But then he lost to Positive-Thinking Mitt. And all the sudden McCain was all optimistic about the economy!
10:08 PM — Florida! Onward! Hey, do you know who was one of McCain’s campaign co-chairs in Florida? Cock-sucking bathroom-goblin Bob Allen, that’s who!
10:09 PM — If McCain’s president, we will all know what it’s like to be tortured by the Viet Cong for years and years.
10:10 PM — “USA USA USA!” Nothing like a good dumb Homer Simpson chant to show your supporters are idiots.
10:11 PM — Wait, my friends, did we all inherit something? Are we rich?
10:12 PM — McCain wants to give the poor and unemployed the impression that he’s going to do something for them.
10:13 PM — He wants to serve his country “a little while longer.” Does he have AIDS?
10:14 PM — Good night, Walnuts! Congratulations on a weird win.