Gossip Roundup: Tucker Carlson Has a Real Thing for Lesbians (But Who Doesn't?)

•Heard on the Hill: House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-Texas)had IDT Corp.pay $3,595 for his helicopter ridefrom Philadelphia to New York, where he honored IDT's chairman,Howard Jonas,a campaign supporter. "Shuttle diplomacy at its swiftest," saysspokesman Jonathan Grella. . . $1,000 gets a ticket to Karl Rove's "Boots & Bush-Cheney '04" fundraiser; Western attire strongly encouraged. [ Roll Call ]

•Inside the Beltway: The Paradigm Clock,which countdowns to a formal announcement of extraterrestrial life, is reset to 1 minute, 15 seconds before midnight."John Kerrylocks up the Democratic Party nomination, thus creating the prospect of two alumni of Yale University-based secret society,Skull and Bones,facing each other on the November presidential ballot.This serves to place the issue of government and cabalistic secrecy as a societal detriment more prominently on the nation's radar." . . .PETAputsJesus and Maryon billboards to promote the vegetarian lifestyle as "an Immaculate Conception." [ WT ]

•Inside Politics: KerrycalledYasser Arafata"statesman"and a "role model" in a 1997 book he still touts as his vision. UPDATE: This maybe hard for some of you to believe, but it turns out that the Washington Times has taken these "quotes" out of context. It's so cute when Wes Pruden imitates Ann Coulter. Will he start showing up to interviews in a mini-skirt, too? Anyways. Tapped has thefull, more boring but sensible, quote . [ WT ]

•Names & Faces: Dennis Kucinichhospitalized in his hometown yesterday forpossible food poisoning. From the vegetables? [ WP ]

•Liz Smith: Tucker Carlsonin Elle magazine: "One area of liberal phenomenon I support is female bi-sexuality - this apparent increased willingness of girls to bring along a friend. That's a pretty good thing."Women "want to be listened to, protected and amused. And they want to be spanked vigorously every one in a while." On arguing, "most of the time you can beat a woman in an argument. But what do you win? Nothing. You get short-term pleasure followed by a lot of pain." If he could be any woman, he would beElizabeth Birchof the Human Rights Campaign because "you'd be presiding over an organization of thousands of lesbians, some of them quite good-looking." (Geez, Tucker. Obsess much?)Carlsonwould go to bed withHillary Clinton: "Every time I see her I think I could, you know, help. She seems tense." (What a humanitarian.) He would pickLaura IngrahamoverAnn Coulterbecause "with Ann you could get bruised on the angles." [ NYP ]

•Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Ann Coulter: "Martha Stewartwasprosecuted because she believed liberal secular gods like herself are allowed to lieto federal investigators - which, coincidentally, was also the position of her favorite political figure,Bill Clinton." Senator Hillary Clintonsaid, "[W]omen in positions of visibility are held to another standard. I hope that wasn't in play here." [ NYDN ]