Mitt Romney Has A Supporter In Nevada


During my sad tour of the endless half-abandoned Vegas “single family home developments,” I saw exactly ZERO political signs until this half-hearted falling-over Mitt Romney “lawn” sign. (It’s kind of stuck in some half-dead ground-cover plant surrounded by gravel. Las Vegas is about 42% stucco and 56% gravel. The rest of the city consists of cigarette butts and dried-up condoms.)

But there were lots and lots of another kind of yard sign. FOR SALE signs, often with a scribbled FOR RENT at the bottom, are everywhere, sometimes skipping only a single house on an entire block.

As I listened to AM radio for political ads — hey, Ron Paul is advertising for freedom! — some local loser called in to one of those finance-investment talk shows that certain old people enjoy. He’d bought a Vegas tract house for $480,000 two years ago, at the height of the Vegas bubble, with his “partner, this woman.” And now the partnership had dissolved. Neither one of them could afford the $3,000 payment on the two mortgages. In fact, they couldn’t afford the payments together. What to do?

“Just foreclose,” the host said, sadly. Asked if foreclosure would mess up the guy’s credit, the host said, “Yeah, yeah, pretty bad.”

With so many abandoned houses in this weird wasteland, home burglary is booming. In 2007, there were 17,724 burglaries in Las Vegas itself — up from 11,136 in 2002. Similarly big burglary jumps have been reported in Henderson and North Las Vegas.

Want a brand-new four-bedroom stucco McMansion with a three-car garage and a pool, never even lived in by anyone? “$1095/mo, NO CREDIT CHECK.” Well, that should improve the neighborhood.

BANK REPO and FORECLOSURE show up in the local real-estate classifieds more than “granite counters” and “stainless steel appliances.” Assume back payments! Do it now! This is a great time to buy! You never lose in Real Estate! Location, location, location!

Abandoned Dbl Wide, Good Cond. $15,900.

Every psychopathic loser on Earth is drawn here, like maggots to garbage. Don’t believe me? They’ve even got O.J. Simpson locked up in the city jail here. Again. Nobody even knows why. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson frequently appears in public at children’s spectacles, like the Olde Horse Knights show at that Excalibur hotel.

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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