Lewinsky Scandal Celebrates 10 Years of Easy Head!

clinton3.jpgThe “official” anniversary of the Lewinsky scandal is Jizzuary 17. But since the man who broke it, Matt Drudge, is already linking to a retrospective, we are forced as writers to follow his lead. After the jump, a celebration in time line form of the famous blowjob scandal.

January 17, 1998: Drudge breaks story about Newsweek sitting on Michael Isikoff’s story of the decade about “Clinton and the Intern.”

January 18, 1998: Now we have to read Drudge in order to get information, according to the law.

January 26, 1998: Bill Clinton says he did not have sexual relations with that woman. Kind of true, since Lewinsky may have had a wang.

January 27, 1998: Hillary scoffs at “vast right-wing conspiracy;” launches covert exploratory committee for presidency.

Sponsored Video

February – June, 1998: Ken Starr masturbates twice-daily over tricksey grand jury statements from the prostitute Monica Lewinsky.

July 28, 1998: Monica Lewinsky turns over blue jizz rag to investigators.

July 29, 1998: President Clinton gets sad :(

August 17, 1998: Clinton’s like, OK, she polished my knob a little bit, so impeach me already.

Dickcember 19, 1998: Gingrich all like, OK maybe I will, Demrat.

February 12, 1999: Clinton gets to stay President! Pants party of the century!

Legacy in 2008: The Iraq war; girls more willing to give head during hookups. So a mixed bag.

Oral history: The Monica Lewinsky scandal ten years on [Times (UK)]

Related

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.