Wonkette

Flyingchainsaw?

High, five dried up old bag! You referenced teh internetz! Now get back to your Ayn Rand biography.

If ever there were a time to whip out the Nooner tag, it's now.

I knew I made Peggy laugh. I feel like that time in 9th grade when the burley guy with a cigar at the beer shop tried to get me to look at dirty pictures behind the counter.

Also, I'm not up to date on my 1930s slang, so I don't know what she means by "dizzy."

We're not dizzy, we're drunk (and not just on power).

I'm told she keeps the last female Ivory Billed Woodpecker in a cage in her kitchen, while Karl Rove keeps the last male specimen in a cage in his den.

She uses the Internet?

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Speak for yourself, Bots'. I'm both.

So...which one of us is Peggy Noonan's underpaid assistant? J'accuse!

@rptrcub: Hasn't the President taught you anything? It's the Internets, a series of tubes you shoot messages down....

peggy noonan is reading this???
in that case here's a message for you, peggy:
fuck you you old hag!! you're a has been hack writer!!

ahh, much better now.

Who is Peggy Noonan?

@Hans_Auff: I want to be quoted by Peggy Noonan, too! What is her screenname here?

Piggy's working at the NSA these days?
Who knew?

Did she do it in a ... breathy pause? Noonan is a master at delivering her soundbytes in a ... breathy pause ...

Egad! I thought Reagan's creatures were to old by now to use computers. I'll bet when not reading Wonkette she uses the internets to view the most vile porn imaginable.

@congcat: Oh yea, Piggy, I am not planning to participate in the violent overthrow of the government.
Today.

@danofromraleigh: A pro-granny porn granny?

So, between Liz's now-famous BarbieCam and Ken's witty riposte, soon Wonkette will no longer be populated solely by us pseudo-cynics and dizzy children. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.

@danofromraleigh: Methinks her sweet young assistant carrying around his copy of Capitalism & Freedom and How To Talk to A Liberal is her source.

Chicago Tribune: "But despite tonal differences, much of the Web is now the mainstream of politics, more like Politico than Wonkette"

Damn right. We specialize in political humor, gossip and ass-fucking. Politico specializes in being media whores to the GOP. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! Like the "mainstream," now well right-of-center, is the place to be.

I'm leaving early and going drinking.

This is the danger of being too strident in criticizing the candidates during primary season - the GOP could steal all the epithets. So if Bill Kristol uses "fraudbot" or "swamp sow" in his next NYT column then we'll know for sure.

I'm guessing she googled Wankette for some instructions and all and just misspelled it...

I was amused by the condescension of "even the million typing subhuman monkeys at Wonkette got it right this time". But most times I read Noonan I feel like I've been forced to take a treakle enema.

Proud to be one of the Dizzy Children on Wonkette.

Now all she needs is a good, stff democratic dick in her and she will be converted!

Honestly, Politico comment threads are worse than Youtube comment threads.

I have a hard time believing a conservative could read and enjoy Wonkette. They're not really known for their sense of humor or the ability to acknowledge how full of shit they are.

@promnightdumpsterbaby: Flyingchainsaw?

Nah. I'm putting my money on General Farr or Neilist.

@hotsauce:
Not up on your medical terminology, sauce?
Noonan Syndrome (NS) is a relatively common congenital genetic condition which affects both males and females. The principal features include congenital heart malformation, short stature, learning problems, indentation of the chest, impaired blood clotting, and a characteristic configuration of facial features as well as an inexplicable fondness for old white men.

@danofromraleigh:

My theory is she lurks here to learn how to talk like a hep cat. But you're right, I googled "laughing conservative" and only got 40 hits.

Peggy Noonan: writer of condescending crap for outdated and irrelevant fossils for all of her known existence.

@danofromraleigh:
"...a conservative could read and enjoy Wonkette."
Many people don't get Wonkette. Liberals think it's a liberal blog, conservatives mistake it for right wing occasionally. Paultards think this blog is Pro-Hillary! WTF? They just can't understand that most of us hate everyone...can't appreciate the snark!

I'm a dizzy child. Wow, I haven't felt so good since I was carded at the liquor store before New Years.

Wonkette posters are pretty inconsequential, including me. Hell, I can't even get my PACS to give me a petty cash account.

This isn't going to become something like The Thing with each of us accusing each other in turn of being Peggy until is finally revealed that along with being the Anonymous Lobbyist, Meagan has been Peggy Noonan all along.

I love Peggy Noonan... I wish she were my mother.

@danofromraleigh: Brain in jar of fluid operating Dr. Octopus-type tentacles. The good die young, but Evil lives forever.

@Lionel Hutz Esq.:

LMFAO.

Miss Peggy, if you're lurking, I have just informed Mr Hutz that he is a skillful poster to the intertubes. Allow me to translate his ingenious insight from its original dizzy youth-speak:

"This isn't going to become something like G.K. Chesterton's uplifting classic The Man Who Was Sunday, in which every single one of the crazy bomb-throwing anarchists turns out to be perfectly sane supply-side conservatives all along?"

@Lionel Hutz Esq.: You crack me up, Esq.!

I want me a Dizzy Children T-shirt. Can I haz the T-shiit concession?

Peggy Noonan IS my mother. I read her Wonkette every day while she screams at the immigrant help.

@Lionel Hutz Esq.:
I'll bring the flamethrower.

BTW what the hell is Wilford Brimley doing here?

@Lionel Hutz Esq.: And she would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you pesky kids and that dog of yours!

The Knights of Columbus still do not have a women's auxiliary -- so what about proposing Peggy as the founder and Supreme Sybil of the new order of Columbiads? -- and as giant cannons firing on all and sundry they need lots of new medals and decorations: a jeweled redo of the weird and flaming "Immaculate Heart" and "Sacred Heart" so perfect for the lapel and bosom of our mighty heroes of the Republic. Thorns, bleeding wounds, swords... the Virgin on the Half Shell.

Peggy already sports the stigmata; now she's going for sympathetic Alzheimer's, too.

Wait, Peggy wrote speeches for Reagan, er, I mean, his excellency, the republican lord god himself.
That makes Peggy above god, and still she hangs out at Wonkette?

Wonkette's not as dizzying as I once thought.

It's morning in Wonketteland.

Who gets dibs on the "Dizzy Child" username?

@Joe Dog: I get my learning from the streets, which makes me way way smarterer than W.

so confused!
just two days ago the Paultards called us 'buffoons.'
which one is it?

@donocaster: But wait - Wonkette endorsed Ron Paul...

Boy, is my tattooist going to have some fiery words for me when I get that tattoo removed.

But - ass-f*cking is still okay, isn't it? Because I'm not sure that getting my nether-regions virginity back which I lost in the name of Wonkette will be quite so easy.

@Lionel Hutz Esq.: I was thinking more like the "I'm Spartacus" moment.

@litotes: I suspect she is drawn to the assfucking.

Is this something like a 60's Kirk Douglas film, where each and every one of us commentators will have to stand and exclaim, in turn, "I am Peggy Noonan" until the Romans go away?

Hope not because all that standing and swearing will get in the way of my porn "reviewing".

@wadisay: Damn.

Jinx!!

@danofromraleigh:
"I'll bet when not reading Wonkette she uses the internets to view the most vile porn imaginable."

... who here doesn't fit that description?

Not only does she read Wonkette - she comments. Actually she has an assistant print the entire website out every half hour. Then she writes her comments in cursive longhand on the finest Crane papers. Then she gives the written comments to her assistant who types them in.

The problem is that her comments take about a day to make it into the site, so nobody ever sees them.

Nadine?

Hilz in a loving 'vagina chat' with Katie Couric is really the height of comedic brilliance. Smithers, fire off this comment for me, would you?

Ah the slings and arrows of outrageously boring prose from the great Queen Peggy Twatwaffle. Oh, forsooth we dizzy monkeys doth scribe-away with petty pace. But you, you... should I compare thee to a winter's eve? such as this drab and merciless global warming-filled air. Methinks tis sulphurous, from swallowing too much pork.

If you guys are all so dizzy, why is she reading Wonkette? Doth protesteth too much? She probably has a commentator name around here, and perhaps is the dizziest old bat of all. (Look for: typos, rambling, refferences to World War 1, shout-outs too all of her senile friends, and William F. Buckley ghostwriting comments.)

@Eac_O_System: She reads Wonkette because she aspires to the common touch or if she got it from the Chi Trib to APPEAR as if she has the common touch. She did write for The Great Bloviator ya know.

I'd hit it.

With a car.

@donocaster: Yes! Politics is only bearable if everybody gets hated. Republicans just have done more to inspire scorn recently.

Oh God, Peggy Noonan just hates that Hilary person. She was writing op eds against her years ago sounding all hurt cause she didn't get invited over for the swap parties or tea parties, whatever. I think she goes to the same fancy church that Chris Mathews goes to. She should be just about polishing up her every four years election column on why women who like Hils shouldn't be allowed to vote unless they are voting for Obama in which case they should all stay home cause they aren't smart enough to vote or very popular either. Word thieving bitch.

@ragingmonk: YES, YES, YES. T-Shirt please: No Dizzy Child Left Behind!

O, she is so very, very horrible. Her usual vice of choice is old sitcoms, according to Noonan's horrible essays about the doucier de vivre of her suburban youth. I'll vote with the majority here and say that someone a third her age dropped the word "wonkette" on her.

@Eac_O_System: This is to inform you all that I am NOT Peggy Noonan, dispite my references to historical events that occured centuries ago and my occasional shout outs to various fossilized past associates.

All hail Queen Noonan of the Reagans, first wife of Sir Ronald Paul.