Earth To Be Awesome Soon As Bush Is Gone

 

George W. Bush is on vacation in the West Bank today, telling everybody about how great things will be in 2009, after he’s mercifully out of office. According to our sad, ignored president, the Middle East will finally see peace, love and understanding next year. Why? Because everything will magically get better after Bush is gone. Here are some other predictions from our optimistic pal:

* Next year, the whole subprime mortgage collapse will find peace, too. Your house will be worth $799,000 again, even though you couldn’t sell it for a buck-fifty and a handjob today.
* The election of a half-Kenyan will dramatically improve the fortunes of all half-Kenyan Americans with Harvard law degrees.
* Flying cars, finally!
* Government-provided Sex Robots that look like your favorite entertainer, if your favorite entertainer is Dennis Hastert.

Bush predicts Mideast peace pact by 2009 [CNN]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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