Wonkette

But what is Putin's finishing move? My money's on a piano wire to the throat, and an extra neck snap as an unnecessary flourish.

it's only a few more years until we get full-on putin porn.

@Underclassed: I was thinking polonium in his opponent's sake, but if you say so.

And AL - what would you give to see a cage match between Vlad and Sarko? Teh hawt!

@southernbitch: There is no world leader more likely to have already taped himself fucking. I'm guessing it already exists.

Oh god no, no Putin porn. From what we've already seen, it would surely involve little boys being "stroked like a cat."

...still not sure if can beat Ron"Nazi Killer" Paul

@Anonymous Lobbyist: I guarantee there's already a Kim Jong Il sex tape out there.

@Anonymous Lobbyist: i bet putin had it fully scripted and most of the action occurs on a bear pelt rug in front of a fire.

They're close already, to Putin porn that is.

[www.dailymail.co.uk]

@southernbitch: Is that the one with Oliver Reed?

@southernbitch: Vlad the Impaler

crazyrussianvideos.com should be my homepage. That country brings the crazy like no one else.

I should clarify: They bring the awesome crazy, not the scary crazy.

For more furriner craziness, check out some of the North Korea travelogues that people have posted...

I guess the Japanese really want the Kuril Islands back.

Next show of the Moscow Circus should be in Texarkana against the 3 ferocious Huckabees and their border trooper Chucky Norris.

So America gets stuck with the rich asshole fratboy president, whereas Russia gets stuck with that asshole blond kid who Ralph Macchio fights in The Karate Kid president. I'm honestly not sure which is worse.

Just to be clear here. Bush:

Putin:

Nothing's ever gonna bring him down!

Personally, I would pay good money to see Putti-Pu and Bush do a little rondori. (That's "sparring," for all you non-judoka.)

The problem would be that Putkin could not win by dropping Bush, repeatedly, on the latter's head.

There being nothing of value in said extremity.

Come to think of it, the last time Bush did rondori the Segway won handily, in one fall:

[politicalhumor.about.com]

Isn't presenting a boy's bare torso to Putin a bit like laying a saucer full of milk in front of a kitty, then blaming the cat?!

SO unfair, sensei Yamasita.

What's really sad is that our President wouldn't last five seconds with the boy - Vlad-tongue wounds on his taut belly notwithstanding. Or the boy's pretzel.

Hooray for the Tsar of All the Putins! At least he remembered Stalin's maxim never to shoot anybody in front of a camera.

Hey..Putin prays to Stalin to help him solve Russia's problems. Stalin comes to him in a dream that night. "First, shoot all men between the ages of 21 and 30 then paint the interior of the Kremlin blue."

"Why blue?" asks Our Hero.

"Aha!" says Stalin. "I knew you'd ask me about the second part and not the first."

TGY, Viz

@PeteJayhawk: Oh wow. Teh Russian videos are awesome, dude! I saw one about a horny cow!! Where be the North Korean at? Linkz plz plz!

kthksby

That's red hot!

There's something about that guy Putin that reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite's older brother. Remember? The "cage fighter" dude with the glasses. I don't know what it is, maybe the personality....

@Neilist: I'm no black belt, but I'm pretty sure there are plenty of moves with which to land an opponent on their keyster- That would do severe damage to Dubya's brain (such as it is)...

I saw this guy becoming a dictator, but wanting a personality cult seems a little audacious even for him.

I think Putin needs a blimp.

How restrained! Instead of yanking off the boy's judogi and planting a big wet kiss on the boy's tummy, Putin just gives him a little smooch on the skull. The prancing with the dude in blue was nice though.

But could Putin best Walker, Texas Ranger?

If you lose the match, he nationalizes you.

If you win, he poisons you later.

Putin vs. Jesse Ventura!

Zhu Bajie