White House Press Secretary Dana Perino might not be a liar after all! All those times when she says “I don’t know” and “We’re still gathering the facts” could be 100% accurate, because she actually doesn’t know jackshit about the world around her. Perino appeared on NPR’s jolly Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me program this weekend and stupidly told the world a story best kept private: She has no goddamn clue what the Cuban Missile Crisis was.
Perino told NPR’s erudite audience that one time, when a reporter mentioned the Cuban Missile Crisis, she couldn’t tell that important geopolitical event from a Bacardi Mojito:
“I was panicked a bit because I really don’t know about . . . the Cuban Missile Crisis,” said Perino, who at 35 was born about a decade after the 1962 U.S.-Soviet nuclear showdown. “It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I’m pretty sure.”
So she consulted her best source. “I came home and I asked my husband,” she recalled. “I said, ‘Wasn’t that like the Bay of Pigs thing?’ And he said, ‘Oh, Dana.’”
Awww, Dana no smarty-like! Hear that reporters? Be nice to this dumb servant of icy death. And next time you ask her about the Iran NIE, keep in mind that she probably doesn’t know what Iran is.