The Very Mysterious Machinations of Mike McHaney

As Mike McHaney heads to his court hearing today, friends and acquaintances of the disgraced staffer for Sen. Maria Cantwell are coming forward to speak about his history of odd behavior. By now we've heard a few more things. According to those who know him, he got his start in politics doing advance work for Bill Clinton's campaign (his parents, who live in Little Rock, Arkansas, are allegedly friends with the Clintons). Two people that have worked with McHaney have contacted Wonkette, and have allowed us to tell their stories on the condition we not use their names. The first source worked with McHaney on several campaigns. "I knew him well and was around him a lot. He was very shady."

"He always had a story about how his family knew the Clintons and how he got his start working his campaigns advance while he was in college. His parents allegedly knew Bill and Hillary. He was single at the time I knew him, I have heard through friends he has a bf now. I am gay he was gay so we went out a lot. He always had a thing for trying to look younger and for younger guys. I haven't seen him since the 2004 campaign and after this don't really care to ever see him. Let's just say this isn't that surprising. He was a very cocky kid, always trying to impress outdo us all by name dropping. I just want to say I thank you for highlighting this just as much as the other 'Gay Scandals.' I think anyone who does this stuff should be outed."

Another source close to McHaney came forward with this:

"I worked on a political campaign for Senator Landrieu in the Winter of 2002. I was working in a city where Mike McHaney also worked, though he was working on the campaign for Congressman Rodney Alexander (who ran as a Democrat, sponsored the Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage, and subsequently converted to the Republican Party). The Democratic party paid for the staff to live in a hotel and, due to bad luck, I had the unfortunate occasion to share a hotel room with Mike for several weeks. I knew then that something was wrong with him, but aside from the Britney Spears' greatest hits that he played on his car's tricked out music system, I had no other proof--until now.

"What was living with Mike like? Well, he would hit on me in French and one time I was trapped in the bedroom while taking a nap one weekend because he was in the living room masturbating. I couldn't leave the bedroom until he finished and I remember being afraid of being trapped in the bedroom forever. Luckily, someone knocked on the door, which he answered, covering himself with a pillow.

"Mike grew up in Arkansas. I remember being shocked when he told me that there was a "black woman" (I don't remember him referring to her by name) who lived in his basement who cooked and cleaned for his family. I remember him saying that he went to a private boarding school in New England and that he graduated from Kenyon College in 2002. He said that while he was at Kenyon, he worked for the school's football team.

"After graduation, he ended up taking a job for a Congressional candidate in Arkansas. I'm not sure, but I think it was Mike Ross, representing Arkansas' fighting fourth. After the election, he acquired his position on the Alexander campaign through a man named Wooten Johnson, who I believe worked for the DCCC. That was according to Mike, but the story sounded kind of baseless. Among those of us who worked with him, it was pretty apparent that Mike was someone who was just trying to get a break in the campaign/government world and would make up stories to make it sound as though he were more impressive than he was. In this way, he didn't come off as the sleazy liar type, just kind of tragic. Of course, who could have guessed how sleezy he really was?

"After Landrieu's victory, several campaign staffers travelled to New Orleans to celebrate. Mike followed us there (uninvitedly so). He told several bar tenders on Bourbon Street's "fruit loop" (ugh) that he was looking for me--because I'm gay (although not an "Axis of Fun" style gay). I knew it was he that was looking for me because one bartender said, "There's a guy looking for you. He's about 5'6" tall, blond spikey hair, looks like Bart Simpson, and has really big calves."

"I successfully avoided him in New Orleans and then didn't see him again until several months later when I moved back to DC for law school. I saw him working as a bar back at Remingtons. Not a very glamorous job for an Axis of Fun type, eh? I ran into him a few times there, never said a word. However, just before I moved away from DC, I saw him with his boyfriend and I couldn't avoid conversation with him this time. What I learned about his boyfriend was that he was a paralegal at the law firm Fulbright & Jaworski. He seemed like a sweet, young boy who cluelessly ended up with the freak of the week."

And so that's what we've got! A fat-calved, French-speaking, former bar back who may or may not have ties to the Clintons...