Which Candidate Will Give This Man a Medical Marijuana Cigarette?

can i smoke your pajamas?You may remember wheel-chaired muscular dystrophy patient Clayton Holton from that time he asked Mitt Romney to legalize medical pot, and Mitt Romney was all like, “This is me walking in the other direction now.” But Holton’s quest for legal pot doesn’t end there; he’s also been taped asking Hillary Clinton (“we’ll look into it, sweet cheeks”), John McCain (“I know what you want, and no”), Ron Paul (“BWAH bwah superhighway BWAH”) and others. Holton is part of Granite Staters, which advocates — here comes a shocker — legalizing medical marijuana. Their website gives grades to each candidate’s stance on the matter, which basically splits into Democrats getting A’s and Republicans F’s. We aren’t so sure about this report card, and its… its damn liberal grade inflations! So after the jump, a Wonkette chart wades through the Granite Staters’ easy grading.

In my day, you Granite Stater lamewads, this was how the teachers graded candidates’ stances on medical marijuana cigarettes:

so much effortSo our official conclusion for Clayton Holton: Just go buy it from the damn high school kids.

[Granite Staters]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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