Bob Allen Sentenced, Resigns :(

goodbye, old friendWonkette readers, we must be the bearer of bad news. The saga of Florida’s now ex-state Rep. “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen has finally come to a satisfying, but bittersweet, close. Yesterday afternoon, Allen was sentenced on a misdemeanor count of solicitation for prostitution (in lay terms: they done punished him for trying to blow that guy in the potty room). Today, Allen resigned from the Florida House of Representatives — effective Feb. 15, 2008, for some reason. A sad day for America, sure, but “Twenty Dollar” Bob leaves us with one final goldmine of makefunnery: the terms of his sentencing.

The judge didn’t deem it good enough to simply let Allen take his probation and retire. Lord knows what kind of trouble he could get himself in! He must avoid parks, learn about AIDS, and get tested for said AIDS:

allensentence.jpgAllen does plan to appeal, however, so hopefully the humor gods will offer him a lengthy second trial, with more jury field trips.

Allen sentence includes probation, fines [Florida Today]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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