Jesus Rolling In His Grave

 

nuh uhNo, I did not make that image in three seconds on Microsoft Publisher (do they even still make that?). It’s the official logo for the Million March For God, which is a thing that is real. This organization will introduce its plan tomorrow in Philly, which is mostly to have a million unmedicated Jesus people run around DC on October 11, 2008 talking about prayer and the evils of “Western Medicine.” According to these wordsmiths, “Our forefathers never meant to remove Church from Government, nor Government from the Church. They viewed history and throughout history, either the Church controlled the State, or the State controlled the Church. Our forefathers were seeking to avoid either situation from happening.”

It’s unbelievable how much funny shit is on this website.

In the “Supporters Page,” You’ll see beneath a nice picture of a tree their list of supporters. Looks like they’ll easily smash the one-million mark, if these throngs are any precedent:

millionsupport.jpgBut oh-ho-ho, that page lies! Some special VIP guests have already signed up, we are informed on the “Whispers” page. Well, maybe not “signed up” in the traditional sense, but there’s a chance! There’s allllways a chance:

Hilary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani to attend March:

Although no letters of commitment have been given to us yet, and Mr Giuliani has not yet received an official invitation, I have been informed that Hilary Clinton will be at the March and that we should also expect Rudy Giuliani along with either President Bush or at the very least, the first lady.

One thing I am very sure of, we are going to have a lot of major names from all areas, TV personalities, Radio personalities, Politicians as we will be seeking their spiritual awakening, Movie stars, Musical Artists, and we hope to bring in a number of really big CEO’s of major corporations too.

Well, if it helps, their health care plan is roughly similar to Hillary’s. A few small changes, though:

We do not believe that Western Medicine has all the answers. People should be free to make choices outside of conventional Western Medicine and not suffer not being able to do so. Prayer holds a lot of healing. Herbs have been proven effective for centuries, well beyond modern day medicine and synthetic drugs. In fact, look at all the side effects of any synthetic drug. Are there alternatives that doctors are NOT allowed to use? You bet.

East meets West and bringing back a lot of good history of natural care, somewhere in between all of these, is where the answers are. God put all things for medicine on the Earth that we need. The Bible tells us that. The Government says that only Synthetic drugs are approved for our treatments and that natural products are unapproved. Is God wrong?

Well, if God made these people, it does raise some questions.

Million March for God [via Philadelphia Will Do]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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