Satan Manifesting Himself in Preteen Girls

i want to be princess sparkle ponyYesterday’s Washington Post tackled the awkward question many Americans face every time they go to the mall: Why do 11-year-old girls dress like such sluts? Does it have to do with the Internet, which Brian Williams called “a cultural Wild West” during last night’s debate? Or maybe it has something to do with, let’s see… THE DARK LORD SATAN? If you’re inclined to believe the Christian Broadcasting Network, which we’re not, Lucifer is definitely picking out preteen wardrobes these days — especially on Halloween.

The Post article observes several hot-to-trot preteens and their parents as they search for the perfect Halloween costumes. Gabby Cirenza, 11, for example, wanted to dress as a little referee. Her mother wouldn’t allow it, however, because the costume Gabby had in mind was of a Playboy referee:

The outfit she liked had a micro-mini black skirt and a form-fitting black and white-striped spandex top held together with black laces running up the flesh-exposing sides. She looked admiringly at the thigh-high black go-go boots that could be bought as an accessory. And she thought the little bunny on the chest was cute.

Gabby’s mother also did not support “Funky Punk Pirate Pre-Teen” or “Fairy-Licious Purrrfect Kitty Pre-Teen” costumes either. God, her mom is like, so 1950s.

But an even lamer mom is Karen Rafferty, whose daughter Grace liked “the Mega Star costume, with a tiny bandeau top, bare midriff and low-slung sparkle pants. And she thought the Runway Diva in leopard skin, big sunglasses and knee-high boots was cool.” Karen predictably didn’t support either choice. Karen, Karen, Karen — you’ve gotta let go sometime! Grace is a young woman now! I mean she’s… wait a sec….

Oh. Grace is six. Satan is really gross.

Preteens Trading Fairy Wands for Fishnets
[WP]
Photo via Mables.com

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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