The Great White Bear Speaks!

Yesterday, David Phillips shocked us back to the 1980s with the tale of his sloppy, cheap and degrading sex tryst with Sen. Larry Craig. Today, we have been bombarded with various reactions, comments and interview requests. The first response came from the senator-sucking bear himself, David Phillips, who apparently flew into some sort of red-faced rage of embarrassment when he first saw the post. While he agreed to come forward with his story, seeing his hairy, bearish image and his own words freaked him out. He finally calmed down, but not without some left-handed threats to Princess Sparkle Pony (our guest editor who broke the story). Phillips promised to track down Pony only wearing a Laura Bush mask and show him the business end of a strap-on dildo. Promises, promises.

Then Friday, between requests to interview Phillips and "Ms. Pony," (who by the way, is a guy, but shall remain anonymous), Phillips decided to simply lay low: "I'm much more content to just let it burn out than to stoke the embers," he told us. "People who have known me only within the last decade can't place the awkward 20-something who did this stuff. While my best friend of the last two decades clearly remembers me in that era---and I was SO not a Bear."

Clearly.