Obama Primes Homo Grudge-Match

All the pansies had an absolute tizzy when Barack "Osama" Obama hired homo-hatin' singer Donnie McClurkin for his upcoming "Embrace the Change" gospel extravaganza. That puts Barry in an uncomfortable position because he needs the hairdresser vote, but if he fires McClurkin, he's obviously a fag and will burn in Hell for all eternity. What's a tightrope-walking panderer to do? Why, hire a gay minister for the show, that's what! That worries me, though: how much more ideological teeter-tottering can this event handle? I imagine the following contradictory staff additions and revelations are forthcoming:

* Obama hires an education consultant who feels vaguely uncomfortable around interior designers.

* Barry introduces a terrorism expert who claims, "some of my best friends are gay."

* Michelle Obama condemns the Broadway production of Xanadu.

* Obama trades in daughters Malia and Natasha for Siegfried and Roy.

 Gay minister joins Obama concert in S.C. [Associated Press]