Remember 1988, when American hero John Rambo infiltrated Afghanistan and rallied our ever-faithful friends (Afghan Islamic fundamentalists) against our existential enemies (ill-equipped Russian commies and their commie Afghan allies)? Then remember in 2001, when due to minor misunderstandings about this that and the other thing, we bombed those same valiant mujahideen that Rambo had befriended and installed a government that included the same communists he kicked out? Well, it gets worse for the memory of our well-muscled PTSD-afflicted hero: the US is now helping Communists fight Islamic fundamentalists! O cruel Machiavellian turns of history!
The Commies in question are an Iraqi Kurdish outfit called the P.J.A.K. They’ve traded in their old-school Marxist-Leninism for “scientific socialism”, but they still do crazy radical stuff like let ladies join their army! They also enjoy crossing the border with Iran and attacking the Revolutionary Guards, so naturally we’re good friends with them and their leader got to come to Washington last year. The only problem (other than dishonoring the memory of John Rambo) is that the P.J.A.K. are basically the exact same people as the P.K.K., who are also doing the whole crossing-the-Iraqi-border-and-attacking-soldiers thing to Turkey, who we like. Turkey is already pissed at us because we told them that we’re allowed to unilaterally invade Iraq but they aren’t, plus we threatened to point out that their grandparents were genocidal murderers, so this obviously isn’t helping.
Rambo himself (who is not dead, as it turns out) has washed his hands of the whole Middle East, planning his next blood-drenched adventure in Burma. Look for the Myanmerese junta to be billed as “America’s allies in the War on Terror” right after Karen terrorists blow up the Lincoln Memorial in 2017.