Pope Returns From Hell

Beloved anti-Nazi pope John Paul II is back, according to Vatican TV. And this time, he is a terrible fire monster! We know about this because we accidentally had CNN Headline News on the other day, with the sound off, for some reason we can no longer remember, and suddenly there’s a terrible picture of the dead pope next to another picture of the Fire Pope. (It was on that douchesack Glenn Beck’s show that nobody has ever intentionally watched.)

This hilarious picture of a campfire has been in every downmarket tabloid in Europe this week, and the poorer/dumber people apparently really believe the beloved pope has returned to Earth, briefly, in the form of a terrifying burning devil. Or a campfire.

The thrilling development was also on the Fox News show “Fox & Friends,” according to some people who actually watch “Fox & Friends”:

The headline read ‘Bonfire Miracle’ and underneath it said ‘Believers see Pope’s image. Several times they said that a fire would never take that shape and used the miracle word.

Comments: Fox and Friends spoke several times about the miracle fire that appeared to be the Pope. Doocy said, “That’s the Pope” and Camerota said, “Absolutely.”

“Bonfire Miracle.” That is kind of awesome.

Because the Catholic god apparently has a hell of a sense of humor, when Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger dies he’s going to come back to Earth as a nice puppy.

Image in fire said to resemble late pope [AP/Yahoo]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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