Mitt Romney Gets ‘Vanilla Steamer’ … And Refuses To Pay For It

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Twisted weirdo Mitt Romney seems to be the only Republican candidate with anything resembling morals or “family values” (except for Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, of course!), but even the casual observer is forced to conclude he is some kind of deranged freak. First we learned how he tortures the family dog by strapping it to the roof of a station wagon until the poor shivering beast gushes diarrhea, then we find out how much he loves sucking “tube steak,” and now he’s in trouble for getting a “Vanilla Steamer” and not paying for it.

The AP reports from the Iowa campaign trail:

Romney is the wealthiest candidate running for president. He stopped at the Crossroads Coffee in DeWitt today and ordered a vanilla steamer. But he had to borrow money from an aide, saying he didn’t have his wallet.

What the hell is a Vanilla Steamer? Let’s consult the Urban Dictionary:

1. vanilla steamer
cumshot on the lips/face
sticky cumshot on face

There you go. Nothing ambiguous about that definition.

Romney is wealthy but needs loan for coffee [AP/WOI-TV]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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