Politicians: they have bad luck on boats! Last Friday, Rudy Giuliani was happily riding a ferry of some kind in Michigan when he was set upon and attacked by a horde of vicious Ron Paul supporters demanding to know what he did with all the gold from the World Trade Centers and asking why he let Cheney do 9/11. According to a local GOP activist, the Paultards threatened to throw Rudy overboard. He eventually “took shelter in the ferry’s pilothouse for the 15-minute journey,” according to the Detroit Free Press. “It was awful,” says the activist, who has no sense of humor. But like we said a minute ago, boats are just bad news for politicians, as the New Yorker reveals in their October 1 issue. Examples include:
* A man named Gary Hart was doing a very good job running for president, once, until a picture showed up of a lady sitting on his knee aboard a boat called Monkey Business. Sex scandals were just different then.
* Remember Jim Trafficant? In prison for being remarkably corrupt, even for a congressman? Some of his many bribes were taken in the form of repairs to his yacht.
* Bob Ney had a boat! He probably bought it with all his dirty money from Jack Abramoff.
* Jack Kennedy was on a boat a lot!
Then there is the D Dock at the Capital Yacht Club. Wow, what a neighborhood!
* Larry Craig lives there.
* So does Ted Stevens, currently under investigation by everyone!
* Haha shit this is also where Duke Cunningham parked the Duke Stir.
* Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne lives there now so expect to learn terrible, terrible things about him very, very soon.