Wonkette

* “I was ready to prove my comic genius, the stars were simply aligned. Two glasses of sangria later, the time was right…” [Average Jane]
* DiCaprio, Crowe set fire to the Eastern Market, Metro watches. [BrightestYoungThings]
* “Oh yes, you’re huge. So fucking round. I’ve seen beach balls with more sex appeal.” [Roissy In DC]
* “This has turned into an exciting game, now. And that’s too bad, because serious playoff-bound teams aren’t going to end up in close games with the Dolphins.” [DCeiver]
* Save the restaurants, save the world. [Metrocurean]