Good-bye To Our ‘Queen of Hearts’ & America’s First Lady, Jane Wyman

Sexy motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass - Wonkette
Today, flags are at half mast — including Ronnie’s, in this undated publicity photo — and America is mourning as we say a fond farewell to America’s First Lady, actress Jane Wyman. Ms. Wyman was one of the wives of our greatest president, Ronald Reagan, before he replaced her with Nancy “Reagan” Davis.

Ronnie was either her second or third husband in a colorful and wide-ranging sex life that included either five or six Hollywood marriages. Like Steve Earle, she even married and divorced the same person a few times.

Jane, at the time married to or divorced from either Myron Futterman or Ernest Eugene Wyman, was acting in a great movie with the future president (Brother Rat and /or Brother Rat Had a Baby when they either began fucking on the set or she was assigned as Reagan’s “beard.”

Their union produced two girls, one who died as a baby and one who died in 2001, and also included the unfortunate adoption of unsuccessful game-show host Michael “Reagan” — actually named “John L. Flaugher.”

After eight years of marriage to our future Greatest President, Ms. Wyman moved on and married bandleader Frederick Karger, who apparently composed movie theme music. They got divorced in the 1950s.

Wyman won the Best Actress Oscar(TM) in 1949 for some movie, but finally found fame as the wife of “J.R.” Ewing on the hit soap opera, “Falcon’s Crest.”

Of marriage, Jane Wyman said: “I guess I just don’t have a talent for it. Some women just aren’t the marrying kind — or anyway, not the permanent marrying kind, and I’m one of them.”

Here’s a picture of her about to get raped:

You gonna get RAPED - Wonkette

“America’s Mom” is gone now, and the nation shall never recover.

SEPTEMBER 10, 2007
Jane Wyman (One of Reagan’s Wives)

‘Johnny Belinda’ Actress Jane Wyman Dies [AP]
Oscar- Winning Actresses: Jane Wyman [Associated Content]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
What Others Are Reading


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!