Wonkette

Well that was a short “press conference.”* He’ll resign on September 17…
* His sons are named Jared, Graham, and Gabriel??? Those are the whitest fucking names we have ever heard.
* He would like to remind us that we live in the greatest country in the world
* “Even my worst days as attorney general, have been better than my father’s best days.” <-- what the fuck does this mean. Is he seriously saying Mexico is that bad? It seems ok to us!
* Then he runs away as some heckling jackass shouts “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?”
* CNN dude threatens us all by throwing Chertoff’s name out there as a replacement. Shit, why not just bring back Rumsfeld!