Wonkette

* Everyone’s putting their bullshit on the airwaves earlier than ever in the contest to be the party America hates the least. [WP]
* Karl Rove suggests that if he ever offered a black man a blowjob, it would only be to stay out of danger. [NYT]
* We respect a Rudy for trying to keep religion and family out of the campaign, but respect him even more for keeping religion and family out of his life. [Politico]
* Time-tested shiny, jingly object routine still works like a charm. [NYT]
* President Chim Chim, ignored by everyone, sulks. [WP]
* Politicians love ethanol because it doesn’t solve any problems. [Politico]
* Now even the other candidates agree that Hillary should be president. [The Hill]
* Suburban Chicago will find the finest asshole Illinois has to offer to replace legendarily long-lasting asshole Dennis Hastert. [Roll Call]
* Summer of Cum strikes Bill Richardson. [USAT]