Tony Snow was on Hugh Hewitt’s show yesterday, to talk about how the surge is working really well and how we’re going to bomb the shit out of Iran and also how he’s going to retire, some day! Because it’s Friday and not much is happening besides the collapse of the world economy, the collapse of various mines, and the collapse of parts of Peru, the wires all picked it up and reporters asked him about it and he said that yes, he would eventually quit being the Press Secretary, at some unknown date in the future. Why?
HH: Your intention to go the distance, Tony Snow?
TS: No, I’m not going to be…I’ve already made it clear I’m not going to be able to go the distance, but that’s primarily for financial reasons. I’ve told people when my money runs out, then I’ve got to go.
HH: How long will that be?
TS: I’m not going to tell you.
HH: Well, come on, make some news.
Yes, poor Tony Snow makes a mere $168k a year as a humble White House Press Secretary. It’s a wonder he can feed his kids at all! He’s reduced to panhandling with his flute outside the Petworth Metro just to pick up some spare change, we’ve seen it.
While we actually stopped paying attention to Tony’s daily lies months ago (who can keep up?), we can still remember the good times we had with him, even though we will continue to have good times with him for months yet, perhaps.
* Who can forget when Tony admitted that Cheney did 9/11?
* Or his hilarious Senior Administration Official dress-up games?
* There was the weird day where everyone in the press corps took a shitload of pills and drove out to Memphis for some reason.
* It’s been over a year, by the way, and NO ONE HAS THE CLIP OF HIM SINGING THE SPONGEBOB SONG. Jesus what do we pay you people for?
Anyway, Tony Snow: if you had video of Dick Cheney picking your pocket he’d tell you right through his shit-eating grin that it was a constitutional right of the executive branch BUT HE HAS CANCER so we won’t make fun of him.