- My Other Car is The Straight Talk Express (which is a car now, because they cannot afford the bus)
- The Angel Moroni is my copilot.
- America must end its dependence on foreign gas, grass, and ass.
- “Well-behaved women seldom marry Rudy Giulaini.”
- If this van’s Baracking, withdraw from Iraq(ing)
- Honk if You Regret Your Vote Authorizing the War
- If you can read this, Tom Tancredo might not deport you.
- Ask me about Ron Paul, the North American Union, “the security and prosperity project,” and/or the secretive “American currency union.” Actually, just talk to me, please, I am desperately lonely.
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