RICK SANTORUM  5:11 pm August 3, 2007

I Know Who Killed Health Care

by Alex Pareene

This week, you guys saw Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Chelsea Clinton, Tim Kaine, Rick Santorum, Barack Obama, Chris Dodd, Dave Chappelle, and Scooter Libby wandering around DC (and elsewhere). Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

See someone we’ve heard of somewhere in or near the district? Tell us about it in an email, with the subject line “Wonk’d” or “Sighting.”

* Was waiting for the elevator in the basement of the Longworth building when rep. Paul Ryan came up to wait for the same elevator. it was early morning and my hands were full with my cereal box, milk, donut and banana, his hands were holding a garment bag and a book– “Who Killed Health Care.”… or something like that. i started to immediately smile to myself– he is much cuter in person… much cuter… none of the interns around seemed to know who he was… “God i hope he doesnt think i am an intern,” i thought to myself… i made the googly eyes… i would like to think he made them back, but i am not sure, he could have thought i was some strung out weird girl with a tick in her eye… he was rocking out to his ipod…. adorable. when we got in the elevator i tried to see if my floor was pushed… it wasnt… i tried to reach around and press the button when he noticed my full hands and asked what floor i needed. i said four. he then got of! f on two… i felt bad.. poor guy, he probably has a small office.
* Mitch McConnell, boarding line A for Southwest in Louisville, KY. Surprisingly pleasant, despite a 5-hour delay. We passed a big “What’s Mitch McConnell Hiding” ( http://www.whatsmcconnellhiding.com/) billboard at the entrance to the airport, and probably should’ve just asked him.
* Actually not spotted in person, but on Saturday at Blue Duck Tavern, the waiter told us the reason our table was late was because the previous party included Chelsea Clinton. My response was “doesn’t she know who we are?” However, no idea if this was just a tall tale from the waiter to appease irritated customers.
* Wednesday, Aug. 1, 7:20 PM, Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine was leaving the Washington (Hinckley) Hilton in a cab with three other suits. The cab paused right in front of me, and I’d know those eyebrows anywhere, although it was counterintuitive that he uses cabs and not limos. So I called his office but they wouldn’t tell me about his personal schedule. Fair enough.
* I saw Rick Santorum on 15th St. yesterday (August 1). It looked like maybe he had lunch at Old Ebbitt. He was talking on his cell phone. I hate to admit it, but he’s HOT. Plus he kind of waved/winked at me. I like to think it was because he thought I was hot too, but it was more of a “I can tell you recognize me” wave/wink.
* Last night we were driving the Zipcar from the Soviet Safeway and were stopped at a red light. Two black Suburbans pull up to the corner of 6th and Mass. Ave. NE. Secret service agents pour out of the vehicle and out steps…..Barry Hussein Obama!
* On Friday July 20th, we were waiting in the NorthWest terminal at National where we also saw Chris “I’m trying to pull off the casual Ralph Lauren Polo look” Dodd. He boarded a flight to Iowa. Hopefully he played it safe in Iowa by talking about corn and ethanol instead of arugula.
* Scooter’s riding the rails. But he ain’t eating baked beans over a sterno flame. My buddy took the Acela from NY to DC last night. Scooter was in his train car. After Vice President Cheney’s heartfelt declaration Tuesday night that, “he still has a very difficult road. He’s got — obviously he needs to find work. He’s got legal bills. He carries the burden of having been convicted. All those are not easy problems,” you’d think he was taking the fucking Chinatown Bus around the Northeast. But no. Apparently the Scooter Libby Legal Defense Fund has got some wiggle room for super-fast train rides.
* Dave Chappell is at T-Coast right now (Friday, 3pm). He is with his wife and I guess his three kids. They are all dressed real nice, like they came from church or something. We were hoping he would do something funny, but he didn’t, so we just drank a beer and stared.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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