“Second Life” is this internet thing that is kind of like The Sims but with more furries and anonymous strangers purchasing huge virtual genitalia with which to virtually penetrate one another. Also it’s a hotbed of modern politics! All sorts of political types have forced interns to make them Second Life headquarters, all of which are monitored by sexy human-animal hybrids and occasionally “vandalized” by nerds. But one candidate is outrageous enough to have his staff do the vandalizing themselves. The only truly outside-the-beltway candidate, a Washington outsider who’s not afraid to go after the entrenched special interests. After the jump, a Very Special Look at Mike Gravel’s Second Life Adventure.
Second Life News Network (oh, how we wish were making this up) reported last week (DATELINE — BASTIAT) that “the new Kirby Avatar Emporium” had been vandalized.
According to the swastika-laden graffiti, Kirby — a pink cloud-like video game hero who generally does not inspire much hatred — “hates our troops.”
Near the emporium, an intern for a U.S. senator in Washington D.C. had built a political consulting office for the senator’s SL presence.
The SLNN neglected to mention which “U.S. Senator” was responsible.
The “AvaStar” (same parenthetical note applies) referred to the vandal as “an aide to a RL US presidential candidate” (“RL” means “Real Life,” a terrifying place where no one can fly or anything and busty dolphins rarely respond favorably to misspelled come-ons).
Lest you think they mean Joe Biden, they reveal that the internet criminal was an intern for Mike Gravel.
Blogger MediaLoper, thankfully, practices the sort of hard-hitting investigating reporting that has already distinguished the internet revolution.
“Lego” is a volunteer for the Gravel campaign, in some vague, unpaid capacity. He joined Second Life a little over a month ago, and decided to start a business trying to convince politicians to pay him money to set up virtual sex emporiums/campaign offices. Unfortunately, the land he selected for his venture was soon neighbored by the Kirby Emporium.
Lego didn’t like their giant spinning sign. His meeting with the Kirby Emporium’s owner did not go well:
Lego eventually approached IntLibber Brautigan, owner of the region, to complain about the sign, and to demand that IntLibber buy the land back. Not only did IntLibber refuse to buy back the land, he took offense at Lego’s complaints, and called Lego (get this) “a racist”. Apparently IntLibber believed that Lego’s distaste for Kirby was racially motivated.
While anti-pink-globule behavior is not yet classified as a hate crime IRL, Second Life is something like the 21st Century Wild West, except with more perverts, and they make their own rules. Naturally, they didn’t take kindly to Lego’s first protest: erecting a statue of Kirby making the Nazi salute with a little pink swastika on his chest.
Lego’s first defense was that a drunk houseguest was responsible, but that didn’t fly, and Lego’s virtual land was all repossessed.
Mike Gravel has yet to respond to this flagrant example of Second Life racism by someone who may or may not be a member of his staff, kind of, except to urge voters to “follow the money,” suggesting that Kirby’s campaign is funded by and for Big Dream Land Bankers and Pop Star hedge fund managers.