Republican Wife-Beater Has Notable Lack of Sexual Perversions

The Summer of Cum has roots going back as far as last Blovember. Back in those dark days we told you the story of Mark Olson, Minnesota State legislator, Republican, friend to Michele Bachmann , and crazy-eyed wife-beater. His case finally came to trial this month. Join us as we explore the disturbing details.

Olson allegedly "pushed" his wife Heidi down three times, bruising her. Why would he do such a thing? Because he wasterrified of her.

Olson's attorneys pleaded self-defense, and claimed Mark was a battered husband. The incidents of abuse they allege willshockandhorrifyandamuseyou.

Their fights included Heidi Olson hitting him several times, stabbing his favorite dresser and cutting his picture off their wedding album cover with what he thought was a knife, Olson said.

The legislator said they both were exhausted on Nov. 12 after his just-ended reelection campaign and had been at odds for several days.

Heidi Olson testified Wednesday that her husband pushed her down three times and threatened "to finish the job" before he left. Heidi Olson, 50, who is larger than her husband, admitted hitting him once during their marriage and said he assaulted her several times, including bruising her by throwing two Bibles at her.

We'll leave the "Bible-thumping" jokes to more shameless hacks. We're too dumbfounded by the idea. Two bibles? At once? What translation? Would it have been more or less serious if they'd been Korans? Or Dan Brown books?

Olson was found not guilty of "causing or intending to cause bodily harm" and guilty of "causing or intending to cause fear of bodily harm." Heidi is still out there, free, roaming the streets, stabbing beloved items of furniture and threatening to cut up your photographs.

 Jury Splits Rep. Olson Verdict [Strib]

Earlier: Wife-Beating Politician of the Day