This summer’s Republican sex scandals are hereby christened (with semen) “Endless Cummer.” Thanks for those other foul suggestions, too. So far, this is our perp-perv list of GOP summer lovers:
* Florida state Representative and John McCain campaign co-chair Bob Allen (R-Fat Ass), arrested after offering to suck a dude’s dick, for twenty bucks, in a public bathroom. (The dude was an undercover cop.)
* Senator David Vitter (R-Family Man), a loyal client of prostitutes both in D.C. and back home in New Orleans, who is apparently not a drug addict but does like it when hookers make him shit in diapers. He is also Rudy Giuliani’s Southern campaign chairman, of course.
* Unnamed McCain campaign staffers who forced him to wear “gay sweaters.”
* Fred Thompson would never be seen in such company!
* Honorary Member: South Carolina state treasurer Thomas Ravenel, Rudy Giuliani’s South Carolina campaign chairman, charged last month with dealing cocaine. Because Coke/Speed+Republicans=Gay Hookers.