Don’t worry, everyone. Scooter Libby may have have had his sentence commuted, but there’s still a good chance for justice to be served. Because the President can still pardon him, any time he wants and for any reason!
“As to the future, I rule nothing in and nothing out,” the president told reporters after visiting wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. A full pardon would wipe clean Libby’s criminal record. The commuted prison sentence leaves Libby’s conviction in place, along with a $250,000 fine and two years probation.
If poor Bush’s heart breaks to see Scooter suffer the indignities of two years probation — he may be expected to hold down a job that whole time! — or if Dick becomes paranoid enough that Scooter will rat on him to take out his Bush’s signature rubber stamp and affix it to the presumably pre-printed pardon he keeps in one of his man-sized safes next to his spare android body, Scooter may yet escape with his
dignity $250k intact.
As MoveOn recently reported, in the first recorded instance of something they said amusing rather than annoying us, Scooter served slightly less jail time than noted criminal mastermind Paris Hilton. Which is surprising, as the only person who would’ve tried to organize any sort of Free Scooter movement would’ve been Chris Hitchens, and only if he was sober enough to get t-shirts up on CafePress.