Each July, world leaders and captains of industry meet at a beautiful Redwoods-studded campground in Northern California to have fun, make new friends and perform solemn human-sacrifice rituals beneath a giant owl who speaks with Walter Cronkite’s voice. The 2,700-acre compound in question is known as Bohemian Grove, and it’s basically summer camp for war criminals.
What’s this got to do with some 1970s’ UK model? Find out after the jump … if you dare.
Regular attendees include Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, William F. Buckley, Chris Matthews, George Schultz, David Brooks, George H.W. Bush, James Woolsey, Dick Cheney, Jimmy Carter, James Baker, and various members of the Grateful Dead hippie-entertainiment conglomerate. Reagan was a member of the Bohemian Club, of course, and only quit going to the Grove when he quit going anywhere at all.
Richard Nixon once described the Bohemian Grove campout while his White House tape recorders were rolling: “The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time …. it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine with that San Francisco crowd.”
But not totally faggy, because for 27 years a poster of a bikini-clad model has adorned the wall of a cabin in the “Skidoo” camp, and Club organizers are supposedly tracking the woman down so they can
feed her body to the Owl honor her at a dinner.
She is not invited, of course, because the Bohemian Grove is a strictly stag event. But she has been told to send a current photograph so she can be toasted or whatever at one of their campfire dinners.
“The poster hangs on the outside wall of a cabin in an area of the camp called Skidoo and has become rather famous throughout the club because of the artistic photography and the beauty of the subject,” an anonymous Grover supposedly told the Daily Mail. “We just want to do something nice for a woman who has meant so much to us.”
That “something” is rumored to include Henry Kissinger masturbating over the picture while Bob Weir and Robert Mondavi burn pictures of American schoolchildren and George H.W. Bush sails from a Giant Redwood on a parachute made from the skin of Katrina victims.
(Also, we have no idea if anything in the Daily Mail is true. It seems basically true, but we used to think that about the New York Times, too!)