Wonkette

* The new border fence is finished and America is finally safe from Mexicans! But the fence is in Georgia, for some reason.
* Finally, Republican primary voters have their very own divorced Hollywood actor to play Reagan.
* Tom Coburn’s jumping in, too, because you can never have too many absolute nuts running for president.
* Oh boy, now there’s a fifth tier of Democratic candidates. Welcome to the race, Cynthia McKinney!
* Speaking of popular anti-war people named Cindy, looks like Sheehan’s leaving on the midnight train to Shut-the-Fuck-Up-ville.
* Walnuts and his terrorist organization kidnapped a little kid and made him make a terrible videotape full of anti-American lies.
* The first bimbo eruption of the 2008 campaign is here, on a crappy MySpace page.
* Welcome to the special torture prison on the Island of Sodor!
* There’s a whole lotta crap you can’t say in the comments anymore — if, you know, the editors ever actually read the comments.
* The Man is trying to make America’s Favorite Marine shut up!
* Antonin Scalia’s daughter got loaded and tried to off her kids.
* Jenna and Barbara are back in town, and were seen doing an eight-ball with a red-headed New York celebrity.
* The Republicans are officially done with this “appealing to the middle class” bullshit, and fired the entire telemarketing staff.
* Hillary promises low-paying service jobs to illiterate Americans.
* Another rat jumped off the USS White House.
* Christopher Hitchens is so charming that nobody cares how utterly wrong he is about everything.
* Rudy should be a natural at this stuff. But he isn’t.
* Condi Rice is nine years old.