The new “POTUS ’08” channel on XM satellite radio will kill millions, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration officials announced today, as unsuspecting drivers come across the CSPAN-produced station and immediately fall asleep and crash into school buses filled with innocent American children. The super villains at XM and CSPAN have ensured there’s no way to avoid the deadly audio — even ending your subscription to the sinister service will do no good:
The channel will be “free to air” on XM, meaning that it will be broadcast free to all XM radio receivers. If a consumer has an XM radio but opts not to subscribe to XM, the consumer can still listen to the presidential election channel.
Shows will include “The full text of all the bills John McCain didn’t show up to vote for this year” and “Sam Brownback’s random name generator for 40 million aborted American fetuses, read in the Radiohead/Macintosh robot voice.”