Bill Richardson wants you to know that even though he has the whitest name in the Democratic party he’s actually a Hispanic person who speaks Spanish and is from Mexico. Well, he doesn’t necessarily want you to know that, but he would really like it if Hispanic people, especially ones who live in California, heard about it. If you’re not a Hispanic person he might like to talk instead about how he used to be at the UN and once pissed off Saddam Hussein.
Richardson’s announcing his candidacy today in California, where he was born. He was born there, of course, because his jerk father put his pregnant wife on a train from Mexico to Pasadena as she went into labor so that his kid could one day live out the American dream of being a third-tier presidential candidate.
Hillary Clinton has a similar story, actually, but hers involves last-minute genetic engineering. Also Barack Obama was born “Barry Hussein Manilow.”