WASHINGTON  5:17 pm May 7, 2007

DC Traffic Finally Solved!

by Ken Layne

Just cold commutin' ... - WonketteTraffic gridlock is really terrible around DC, we hear, and it’s getting worse due to more people or cars or something. Prince William’s, Montgomery and Prince George’s counties are all on the Top Ten Worst Traffic In the Country list, according to a magazine. And by 2030, traffic in and around Washington will be worse than LA traffic today.

What to do?

Well, today it was announced that everybody will soon have to walk to and from work on some kind of river trail. It will be finished in 2014, by which time there won’t be any gasoline anyway and the United States is divided into 17 heavily impoverished warring sectarian enclaves and the only remaining human resident of DC is 132-year-old Robert Byrd, who wanders the Capitol and occasionally ventures out in his Klan robes to shoot zombies, for food.

Trail Will Let Commuters to Walk to Work [WTOP]
Area Ranked Among the Worst for Commutes [WTOP]

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Hola wonkerados.

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