Wonkette

* House Democrats establish exact dates for “America’s defeat in Iraq and capitulating to terrorism.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Guantánamo Bay may be the only place where having fewer lawyers isn’t better. [NYT]
* All the cool kids are getting subpoenas these days. [NYT]
* Paul Wolfowitz is desperate to stay in an organization where everyone hated him before he stole money from starving children to give to his ho. [NYT]
* John McCain’s campaign announcement media-blitz reminds the country he’s running and why not to vote for him. [WP, NYT]
* Obvious White House violations of the Hatch act during the last election are hardly news at this point. [WP]
* New Hammmsher goes gay. [WP]
* Having secrets makes Intelligence agencies want to touch themselves. [NYT]