Today’s Politico features a list of congress members currently under investigation for various complicated crimes. In order to help you understand how much trouble these members may be in, we’ve summarized the key facts about each of their cases, after the jump.
William Jefferson
Crimes: Improper storage of bribe money, legislating while black.
John Doolitte
Crimes: Family received tens of thousands of dollars from disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Also, despite ability to talk to the animals, failed to act to prevent looming pet food crisis.
Rick Renzi
Crimes: “Paid for helping to arrange a federal land swap,” possibly responsible for the mysterious deaths of beloved Wizard of Id creators Johnny Hart and Brant Parker.
Jerry Lewis
Crimes: Which Way to the Front?, Cracking Up
Gary G. Miller
Crimes: Actually Tom DeLay in a cunning disguise.
Alan B. Mollohan
Crimes: Violated Ape Law, went to Forbidden Zone
Honorable Mention: Rep. Ken Calvert
Crimes: Just looks like he’s up to something…
Cryptometer: Scandal Edition [Politico]
Comments on this entry are closed.