Happy Birthday To America’s Greatest Newspaper!

Listen up, haters: The Moonie Times is not a jingoistic right-wing propaganda sheet. In fact, the almost-25-year-old paper actually HATES AMERICA. By our calendar, the Moonies launched the fringe publication in 1982 — you know, the peak of the Ronald Reagan era in Washington?

Yet this is how the un-American newspaper describes Reagan’s shining city on The Hill:

On May 17, The Times will celebrate an authentic milestone, the 25th anniversary of the founding of the newspaper. The Times was an unexpected second newspaper in Washington, born at the apogee of the Cold War when despotism was on the march and traditional American values, like the American spirit, seemed to be in retreat and doomed to defeat.

Real nice, Moonies. Do you need another American Flag to piss on? (We heard you burned the rest of your supply.)

25 Years of Distinction [Washington Times]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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