Wonkette

* Funniest man in Washington steals jokes from least funny man in Washington. [Portfolio]
* What the fuck is Carville doing on the “power couples” list again? He doesn’t have a real job. [Washington Monthly (PDF)]
* Dennis Hastert dropped seventy grand on lawyers to keep him out of the Foleygate hot seat. [Political Insider]
* Replacement players now guarding nation’s nukes. [Passport]
* Least likely to vote hate Hillary the most. [Gallup]
* Straight Talk Express gets bent. [Think Progress]
* Abortion ban decision actually good news for those looking to kill something inside them. [The Coffeehouse]