NEWT GINGRICH  2:25 pm April 5, 2007

Meet the Newt Gingrich of Eagles

by Ken Layne

He'll divorce her once she gets cancer. - WonketteBeloved bald eagles George and Martha thrilled Washington for years, but tragedy struck in the form of an evil eagle bitch who hated Martha.

After two attacks, vets had to euthanize Martha, who was named for Rep. John Murtha.

George was left alone in his nest near the Wilson Bridge … until the same evil bitch eagle shacked up with him. “George has a new mate,” a bridge spokesman told WTOP. They’re going to call the evil bitch eagle Angelina.

While George and Martha’s happy marriage produced 20 little eaglets, George’s new wife intends to just adopt a bunch from Africa.

Love in the Air: George Gets a New Mate [WTOP]
Earlier: Nation Dies Symbolically, Too

Hola wonkerados.

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