BREAKING: PAUL WOLFOWITZ NOT SINGLE
A rogue Facebook mini-feed alert briefly shocked the world with the news that World Bank prez and wrong-about-everything-ever neo-con hero Paul Wolfowitz had split from his long-time ladyfriend.
We reported the rumor the day it broke, because it is our job -- and our pleasure -- to keep you up to date on the gory details of the love lives of all the architects of the Iraq War (Richard Armitage is the father of Scary Spice's child btw). And now, we apologize for the error. Though, you know, we blame the examiner.
Wolfowitz and Shaha Riza were spotted making out the Japanese ambassador's house last Friday. While the cynical would say they're merely keeping up appearances, making a rare public appearance so soon after rumors of their break-up, we know Paul Wolfowitz would never, ever, ever deceive anyone about anything. As the build-up to the war shows, he's too fucking stupid.
Reliable Source [WP]