PROTESTS  12:50 pm April 3, 2007

Mormons to Cheney: Even We Hate You Now

by Alex Pareene

Who could say no to that face? - WonketteBrigham Young University, the fake college where kids from the Church of Jesus of Latter Day Saints can go to receive their worthless degree without ever having to be exposed to a single idea contrary to their upbringing, has apparently inched itself closer to reality: they know Vice President Dick Cheney is an evil vampire hellbent on conquering the earth and eating our children.

Cheney is supposed to speak at commencement later this month. But now there’s a petition circulating asking that the school revoke his invitation for reasons of evil.

The private university, which is owned by the Mormon church, has “a heavy emphasis on personal honesty and integrity in all we do,” said Warner Woodworth, a professor at BYU’s business school. “Cheney just doesn’t measure up.”

The BYU College Democrats (!!!!) will be allowed to protest the speech at a remote site somewhere on the other end of town, or possibly alongside a highway just outside of town, but despite more than 2,000 signitures, it looks like Dick will be allowed to shoot his brainwashing eye-beams at the graduation class in just a few short weeks. Then they’ll all go work for President Romney.

Et Tu, Brute? [Washington Wire]

Hola wonkerados.

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