Wonkette

7:30 p.m. OK, it’s not 2000: It’s weirder. Virginia is too close to call. Kerry pulled out of there last month; it shouldn’t have just gone Bush, it should have been wearing a cowboy hat and shooting guns off. Like, we’re pretty sure that slavery is still legal there. Did they really stop watching NASCAR long enough to vote?[UPDATE from Virginia: "no NASCAR races on Tuesday. Not even qualifying or (ahem) 'Happy Hour.' And I suppose whatever was on Speed Channel today was boring, or fancy Euro Indy cars with French drivers." Now you know.]