EXCLUSIVE PICTURE: First Godless, Then Faceless, Now Nameless And Dateless

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Seriously, what the hell

Jesus Christ, it’s no wonder that the dollar has fallen so low against the euro and the yen and the yuan and the Canadian dollar and probably the Angolan kwanza too: we can’t even get them out of mint without screwing them up somehow. Above on the left is the latest nightmarish, half-formed parody of the new dollar coin to see the light of day. The picture was sent to us by Wonkette operatives Carla and Yoni Cosby; they bought it at a bank in Clinton, Maryland, which had no shame about dispensing the funny money to unsuspecting Americans like the Cosbys.

To the right, you can see what one of these new shiny shiny collectors items is supposed to look like. The deformed coin lacks the crucial inscription telling the bearer who the bewigged fellow on the front is and when he was president; because America’s education system is as poor as the Mint’s quality control, most people need the text to remind them.

Money-watchers believe the worst is yet to come. Be on the look out for quarters sporting the face Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington, or $20 bills depicting Billy Dee Williams Carl Weathers as “Action” Jackson.

* America On the Brink: Dollar Coin Found WITH NO FACE
* Spend Only Genuine Godless Coins on Your Satanic Vending Machine Fare
* U.S. Mint Banking On Americans’ Love Of Dead White Men

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger


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