Wonkette

This is such a terrible campaign ad for so many reasons. Talk about not staying on message — we can’t even figure out what, if anything, the message is supposed to be. It’s just this ominous Wagnerian death march with a bunch of scary pictures of WALNUTS! and a string of unconnected phrases muttered by McCain. (A Wonkette Operative says the score is from “Pirates of the Caribbean,” if that means anything.)

McCain’s depressed campaign team clearly wants him to drop out and settle at one of those Del Webb retirement communities in Phoenix, where he’ll have far less opportunity to start a nuclear war with somebody. This isn’t a campaign ad so much as a cry for help. What this commercial really needs is a final shot of a mushroom cloud, then a slow pan down to the smoldering skeletons of American schoolchildren, and then a burning half-alive bald eagle (dressed in a burqa) crash lands atop the corpses.

Stand Up [John McCain]